The Page Where Stuff Is Written
About Famous Persons.

This is where I post all celeb news.
Want to find out which celebrity is sporting newly-grown facial hair?
Wanna see references to short-lived celebrities you thought you'd never hear of again?
We've got it all, from the bloke who played Big Ron in EastEnders, to Jack Nicholson!

NOTE: Some, if not all, of the events listed below may not have happened.

CELEBRITY SUPER TRUMPS

Everybody's played super trumps, the game in which players
skillfully arrange themed playing cards in order to defeat
opponents by showing a card with an attribute of higher value
than them! Simple!

Most people play Sports Car Super Trumps or Birds of Prey Super Trumps.
Now, for the first time, How Very Odd gives you CELEBRITY SUPER TRUMPS!
Simply print off the card below featuring a celebrity, and month by month
you can build a deck of super celebrities!!

This month, #5!


Never try and remove earwax with a stanley knife, kids.
Vincent Van Gogh

PRICELESS WORKS OF ART: 45
HAIR POINTS: 5
DRESS SENSE: 3
WEALTH: Van Gogh Paintings: Collect the whole set!


Keep coming back for more celebs for your set!


Celebrity News:

Adam Woodyatt, Ian Beale from EastEnders, woke up yesterday morning and was unable to feel his left arm. Adam said "My arm's gone to bleeding sleep, guv'nor."

Joe Pesci and Barry White have opened a restaurant together in Boston. 'Barresci' serves Polish cousine and Laosian delicacies such as monkey testicles.

NewsFlash! Joe Pesci and Barry White's restaurant Barresci has gone out of business, in near record time. Only Judge Reinhold and Oprah Winfrey's Spud-U-Like has gone bust quicker.

England World Cup winning footballer Nobby Stiles has been hospitalised after injuring his knob whilst negotiating an awkwardly positioned stile.

Forrest Gump stars Tom Hanks and Gary Sinise have invested in a shrimp boat. However, Sinise is said to be suffering from 'rope burn', and Hanks 'shrimp sickness'.


QUOTE OF THE WEEK


(Updated tri-monthly)

"When moving house, it is often necessary to lift cabinets and coffee tables. To avoid awkward bruising, put blue-tac on all the corners.."
-David Bowie


Things to send celebrities through the post:

1) A Urine sample;

2) A SitCom you have written, six episodes
and a Xmas special;

3) Photos of your pets dressed up as that celebrity;

4) A petition demanding free fishing lisenses for over 75's;

5) A demand for them to fund your weapons to keep the government out of your back garden, which you have declared an independent nation;

6) A sculpture of them made from your earwax.

Other suggestions welcome, and keep me up to date on how you get on with the above activities.
Celebrity addresses are available from:
STAR ARCHIVE


Its Gerald Ford

All Salute His Highness, Former US President Gerald Ford.
Yes, people, the time has come for all mere mortals to bow down and recognise the might and superiority that is: GERALD FORD.
Support the 'Ford for President of Planet Earth' campaign and together we can instate Gerald Ford in his correct position as Lord High ruler of everything.
Coming soon: How to make a Gerald Ford prayer mat.

Epson Laser-Jet? Gimme some ink!

ABOVE: Caroline Quentin's advice on printer maintenance.

CELEBRITY FEUDS

We're all well aware that certain celebrities do not get along well together, Robbie Williams and Liam Gallagher being one well-publicised rift. But there are many more celebrities who hide their feuds away from the cameras. Here, I will expose those most unlikely celebrity feuds which the public remain blissfully unaware are raging away day in, day out.

Burt Reynolds and Alicia's Attic:
Yes, who'd ever have thought that veteran movie actor Reynolds and the female musical duo despise each other. But it's true, and how much longer can they disguise their contempt?

Pauline Quirke and Buzz Aldrin:
'Birds of a Feather' star Pauline has an overwhelming hatred for Aldrin, the second man on the Moon. This well-hidden rift, I feel, disguises a sympathy they have for each other that they've both been in the shadow of a more famous co-star, Linda Robson for Quirke and Neil Armstrong for Aldrin.

Jennifer Aniston and Les Dennis:
This one's been simmering away un-noticed for many years, and a public display of hatred is surely looming for the Hollywood starlet and the short, chopsy scouser.

Paul Hogan and Michael Beurk:
'Crocodile Dundee' star Hogan and '999' presenter Beurk are not on each other's xmas card list.

McCauley Culkin and Gabi Roslin:
This so far verbal disagreement is sure to end in a full-on scrap one day soon, and it'll take a water cannon to stop the blood and teeth flying.

Yoko Ono Lennon and Bruce Forsyth:
Brucey's been telephoning the controversial widow of John Lennon right when she's in the bath, then when she's gone to the trouble of answering it he puts the phone down. But Yoko knows it's Forsyth phoning her, so he'd better watch out.

Back to menu page, is it? Fine, be that way.