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Yes, people, the King is back and has chosen this
website to discuss his disappearnce. The King sez:
"Whats all this I hear about me dying anyway? I
didn't die, I was just sitting very still, thats all.
Anyway, I dug out of my grave in 1983 and went to
Bhutan for a bit, but fell over and twisted my ankle
so had to go to hopital for a few years, which made
me feel a bit funny, almost isolated to insanity.
From there I went to see a Horse and gave it some
Roast suckling pig for its breakfast, then I set fire
to my own trousers for a laugh. I then proceeded to
do forward rolls along the great wall of China until
I no longer cared who I was anymore. Then somehow
I got into a 'phone line and got on this site, where
I met an old man who had no nose for heights. Whats
all this about Michael Jackson banging my Daughter?
I'm gonna beat him up til he looks hansomely chiselled."
1) Go to your local hospital, do naked cart-wheels into the main reception area, and DEMAND to see Bob Dylan.
2) Pitch a tent on your next-door neighbours front garden. when they ask you what you're up to, tell them you can no longer live with an ironing board that won't compromise.
3) Shave your head totally bald, spray paint your scalp Maroon, catch a train to Plymouth, go to Plymouth Town Hall and ask if they've got some lemon juice for your pan-cakes, and don't go home for 13 years.
4) When the Ice-cream van comes round, jump head-first through the hatch, empty the swirly ice-cream machine into your mouth, then pay for it with a stylish break-dance, doing a head spin until you throw up the Ice-cream.
5) Right a letter to your postman outlining your frustrations with life. Then wait til the postman comes, and when he posts your letters through, post through your letter to him but don't let him see you.
6) Keep on flushing your toilet, flush it, then flush it again and again and again. Don't stop flushing until someone forces entry into your house and forces you to stop it immediately because your interfering with the Hoover dam and Thames barrage.
7) Have a deep and meaningful conversation with a deaf person about their deafness.
Jimmy sez: "See, it IS mobile"
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Jake sez: "It's cheap for a local call on sunday to
all other users."
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WARNING: THIS UFO CONTAINS NUTS
Prussian villains? Lock em up, lock em all up!!!!!!!!!!!!
There's absolutely no reason whatsoever for a padlock to be falling
Tongue, on a mutton day? I do declare Mrs Pipplegrowth!
from a haystack when it should clearly be frightened of the Mayor of Hull.